Whether you plan to get married or in the middle of a marriage, you may hear constant advice from your family, friends, and peers. While certain relationship advice is popular, there is some out there that aren’t worth applying to your own.
The following are the common marriage advice you should ignore:
- Relationships are not supposed to be easy. Even though relationships take work and arguing is normal from time to time, they should not be draining and taxing to maintain. People who follow this advice often remain in marriages that don’t serve them or contribute to their overall happiness. At the foundation, your relationship should strengthen each person most of the time.
- Never go to bed angry. Bringing up a difficult topic prior to sleep isn’t often productive and typically ends in hostility and disappointment. Instead of spending the entire night to make amends, take the night to sleep on it and allow yourself to be well rested to continue the heavy dialogue. Having the right mindset for a long discussion can be beneficial for both parties and the relationship.
- Be with someone who loves you more than you love him or her. The rationalization behind this belief is that if a person cares more about another, he or she will be less inclined to leave the relationship. However, people who follow this advice often have insecurities they must confront. It is usually an attempt to be in control and remains less vulnerable. But, love is often associated with vulnerability and anything can happen.
- You don’t have to censor yourself around your significant other. While it is important to express your feelings to your partner, sometimes people overshare. It is best to learn how to disclose your feelings in a respectable way. Being too blunt may overwhelm your spouse, instead of bringing the two of you closer together and more connected.
- Just say, “Yes, dear, you’re right.” Specifically directed at men, it can be damaging when men in relationships hold back their feelings and accept the status quo in their marriage. Men can get emotionally overwhelmed, but they maintain their composure by going with the flow and shutting off their emotions. It is imperative to learn how to recognize the most subtle clues that your partner is feeling hurt, upset, or even criticized.
- Put the kids first. It is obvious that parents must always consider their children’s needs; however, focusing solely on the development of your children can be detrimental to the development of your marriage. Remember, you married your spouse first and then the kids came second.